things i think about when cindy isn't bugging me

i am the Monk of the hedgie world.


if you're not familiar with Monk, he's the star of a tv series of the same name that ran a few years ago. adrian monk is a former police detective who, in addition to having OCD and being socially inept, has phobias about everything. my humans discovered Monk on netflix and have been watching it lately. as my home is close to the tv, i have been 'watching' it...or at least listening to it...as well.


i can relate to him. painfully. although my fears aren't as numerous (i don't get out that much) they are certainly as debilitating: they are paralyzing. when i am scared, i cannot think, respond or react except to bury my head and huff a blue streak. most of my fear centres around sudden movements or shadows or sounds. some would say this makes sense: i am considered 'prey' in some circles, after all. but even to me my fear seems overly-dramatic: i huff-pop-jump at everything, then bury my head. if cindy would relent and let me have sand, my head would be buried in it. i know this goes well beyond survival instinct: there's nothing trying to eat me around here. (even the huge fish live in a tank they can't possibly get out of and why would they? my humans are their slaves! all the fish do is eat and poop.) granted, the sight of those jaw-like nail clippers would make anyone want to poop on the spot but is my reaction not a touch melodramatic?

i am Monk. and i don't know why.